"Who would you call, Mister Anderson, when you can not speak?"

------------
Agent Smith, The Matrix

EDIT - Text of video puzzle
Steph - Hi everybody, its Steph Frolin here, that’s “Steve” with a ph for all of you calling me
“Steff.” the wife and I are here just trying to figure out where to go on summer vacation. Allright
sweetie, idea number one: the family photo in Pittsburgh.

Feather - Didn’t we see those people last year?

Steph - We did. Next idea: five days in the North Pole hunting Rudolph...

Feather - Sounds VERY cold

Steph - What would you think of two days in London, we can get a picture by a red telephone
booth?

Feather - Sounds like a long way to go to make a telephone call.

Steph - Can we try two weeks in Kenya hunting elephants?

Feather - You know I’m allergic.

Steph - You are allergic, I’m sorry sweetie. Ah! I’ve got us discount golfing in Virginia, only
seven holes.

Feather - GOLFING?

Steph - OK, you’re not a golfing fan. Why not fourth row seats, in Seattle, DEF LEOPARD!

Feather - Fourth row for Def Leopard?

Steph - Fourth row.

Feather - Eh...

Steph - Did you know that one of the seven hills of San Francisco is Telegraph Hill?

Feather - I think there’s more than seven

Steph - I’m pretty sure it’s seven

Feather - Seven? OK...

Steph - We can go ice fishing in Fargo, but we’re going to need 4 wheel drive.

Feather - Ice fishing in the summer? I don’t think so.

Steph - You said no to Def Leopard, what about third row seats to the Philadelphia
Philharmonic?

Feather - Boring...

Steph - Pharoah’s tomb is on tour. Six days in New Mexico.

Feather - Been there, done that.

Steph - Well where do you want to go?

Feather - You know where I want to go.

Steph - Tanga, help me out, where does my wife want to go on summer vacation?

"Mr. Anderson! Don't think that I don't know that this assignment scares the hell out of you most!"

John Keating, Dead Poet's Society

“You know what scares me the most? When I can't fight it anymore, when it takes over, when I totally lose control, I like it.”

-----
Bruce Banner, Hulk (2003)

Yeah, I changed my quote so it would be more coherent, even though I liked the other better. :)

"I'm scared of water."
"No no no. Don't worry, the fall will kill you first."
-Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

"Oh, no, it wasn't the airplanes. It was Beauty killed the Beast"

-Carl Denham, King Kong (1933)

"It's a big pretty plane with curtains in the windows and wheels...it looks like a big tylenol!"

-Johnny, Airplane

"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"

Captain Oveur, Airplane

"I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly."

-Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

-----

Never thought I'd be quoting from that series. It was either that or Gladiator. I went with the funny.

"Here's looking at you, kid."

-Rick Blaine, Casablanca (1942)

(Playing off one of Casablanca's other lines:)

"You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?"

-Vincent, Pulp Fiction

Kate Jerome: And get a quarter of a pound of butter.
Eugene Jerome: I bought a quarter pound of butter this morning. Why don't you buy a half pound at a time?
Kate Jerome: And suppose the house burned down this afternoon? Why do I need an extra quarter pound of butter?
Eugene Jerome: If my mom taught logic in high school, this would be some weird country.

-Brighton Beach Memoirs

"I find it poor logic to say that women should vote because they are good. Men do not vote because they are good; they vote because they are male, and women should vote, not because we are angels and men are animals, but because we are human beings and citizens of this country."

Jo March, Little Women

And if you vote for me, it will be summer all year round.

Summer, Napolean Dynamite

Barry: How do you know this is even related? You did a lot of things last summer.
Julie: Yeah, well, only one murder comes to mind.

I Know What You Did Last Summer

and [9] thanks for the correction - I didn't check it first!

Summer lovin', had me a blast
Summer lovin', happened so fast
I met a girl, crazy for me
I met a boy, cute as can be
Summer days driftin' away
To oh those summer nights

Danny and Sandy, Grease

"The guy's either going think 'here's another guy with a fake ID', or here's McLovin', 25 year old Hawaiian organ donor. Okay? So what's it gonna be?"

Evan AKA McLovin' from Superbad

A fake ID works better than a Guy Fawkes mask

Hammond, V for Vendetta

Our love is like a red, red rose... and I am a little thorny.

The Mask, in The Mask

Evey Hammond: Who are you?
V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask.

V for Vendetta
edit -----------------------------------
ha! I was posting for [19] but it's appropriate for [20] too!
re-edit --------------------------------------

More Appropriate to [20] so we don't step backwards:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm sorry, your call cannot be completed as dialed...

Emery: "Rose Red"

what we've got here is failure to communicate

captain, cool hand luke

"Multiphasic transmissions, and now a message coming in from the Federation."

-- Uhura, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

----
btw Steph - a really fun discussion - Thanks!

E.T., phone home

from E.T.

"The call is coming from inside the house"

-- When a Stranger Calls (1979) parodied in Scream (1996)
(I never saw either, but thought I heard that quote on the trailer for the latter. Couldn't find it in imdb.com though.)

Wait a minute, wait a minute. You ain't heard nothin' yet!

Jackie Rabinowitz/Al Jolson, The Jazz Singer

Oh, shucks, Napoleon. That ain't nothin' more but a little ol' cricket bug.

Lafayette, The Aristocats (1970)

Well, we'll not risk another frontal assault. That rabbit's dynamite.

King Arthur, Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

in response to [30] :)

Striker: "Surely you can't be serious!"
Rumack: "I am serious... and don't call me Shirley."

- Airplane

(I've been waiting to work that one in!)

Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know I'm training to be a cage fighter.

------
Kip, Napoleon Dynamite

Edit: Dang you guys are fast! This was in response to [27]...

On the good ship lollipop
Its a sweet trip to a candy shop
Where bon-bons play
On the sunny beach of Peppermint Bay

Shirley Temple "Bright Eyes" 1934

(in response to [29] - and I think that ends the previous time warp)

Willard Decker: Admiral, this is an almost totally new Enterprise. You don't know her a tenth as well as I do.

James T. Kirk: That's why you're staying aboard. I'm sorry, Will.

Willard Decker: No, Admiral, I don't think you're sorry. Not one damn bit. I remember when you recommended me for this command. You told me how envious you were and how much you hoped you'd find a way to get a starship command again. Well, sir, it looks like you found a way.

James T. Kirk: Report to the bridge, Commander, immediately.

Willard Decker: Aye, sir.

James T. Kirk: [to Spock] Aren't you dead?

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yes, I'm a Trekkie, so sue me!

Robot: That does not compute.

Lost in Space

Robert Conway: I think I'm going to like it here.

Lost Horizon
Ronald Colman as Robert Conway

"Now, bring me that horizon."

Capt Jack Sparrow

Why is the rum always gone?!

Capt. Jack Sparrow, POTC2

*******************************************
aside

this is really hard to keep up with!!!
*******************************************

[38] I just mentioned that and now have to edit again...HA! An unforeseen complication

[39] Your edit took my quote WAAAY out of context lol.

"Oh, it's just a little sparrow."

Roman: "The Great Outdoors" - 1988
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
in response to [37] which I think was the last one in the real line

Cerdic: "You come to beg a truce, Roman, you should be on your knees."
Arthur: "I came to see your face so that I alone may find you on the battlefield. And it will be good of you to mark my face, Saxon, for the next time you see it, it will be the last thing you see on this earth."

King Arthur

Judah Ben-Hur: When the Romans were marching me to the galleys, thirst had nearly killed me. A man gave me water to drink, and I went on living. I should have done better if I'd poured it into the sand!

Balthasar: No.

Judah Ben-Hur: I'm thirsty still.

Ben Hur

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.

Marc Antony: Julius Caesar

Hello - there is news from Egypt, Ptolemy is trying to usurp Cleopatra.

Mark Antony: Carry on Cleo (1964)

Colonel Jack O'Neil: Give my regards to King Tut, a$$&*!#.

Stargate (the movie)

Tut, tut! Remember your place.

General de Villafranc: Kiss Me Again (1931)

There's no place like home.

----
Come on, someone had to do it...
Dorothy, The Wizard of Oz

"Hang on to something Dorothy, because Kansas is going bye bye."

Cypher, The Matrix

"Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore"

Dorothy
Wizard of Oz

edit: nice recovery steph!

Jo: [cow flies by in the storm] Cow.
[cow flies by in the storm]

Jo: 'Nother cow.

Bill: Actually I think that was the same one.

Twister

Melissa: I gotta go Julia, we got cows.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Must be puzzled heifers!

Fine. Give birth to me, but you are not my mother.

Melissa Wilder: "Camp Wilder" (1992)

"Yippie-ki-yay, mother#*&(@!"

Die Hard

[as the lady cat awaits for a kiss] Ladies and gentlemen. I don't belong in this picture... but I can't pass up an opportunity like this! [kisses cat] Yahoo! Yippie!

Dog: Gruesome Twosome, A (1945)

skip to [59]

"We belong dead"

The Monster
Frankenstein

"Put the candle back!"

Young Frankenstein

Oh, sorry FRONKenshtein

Principal Vernon: "Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns!"

The Breakfast Club

Crash Davis: I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.

Bull Durham

There was a plane CRASH off the coast of the Isle of Wight in England. Meghan and Sebastian were among the passengers on the plane. There were no survivors.

Coach Artie Gunnerson: "15/Love" (2004)
------------------------
now go to [56] and after [58] skip to [61]

From [58]

He was wracked with confusion. For the first time in his life, he understood the true meaning of the expressions "horns of a dilemma" and "between a rock and a hard place" - although the concept of "paying through the nose" had always tormented him. How does the money get in the nose in the first place? Once in, is it pulled out by hand, or is a sneeze involved? And who would accept such a transaction? Burning questions all, but he had bigger fish to fry

Adam Shipley: Alex & Emma (2003)

--------------------------------------------------
Phew! another time warp! untwisted

Gesundheit.

Gabey: On the Town (1949)

I knew you'd come back. They all come back.

Brunhilde Esterhazy: Gabey: On the Town (1949)

"Y'all got on this boat for different reasons, but y'all come to the same place. So now I'm asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all. Sure as I know anything, I know this - they will try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground swept clean. A year from now, ten? They'll swing back to the belief that they can make people... better. And I do not hold to that. So no more runnin'. I aim to misbehave."

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, Serenity

---------------
A bit long I know, but one of my favorites

You're gonna need a bigger boat

Martin Brody, Jaws

"Titanic. Titanic had a sad ending."

Bert: The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland(1999)

"Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection. The lovers, the dreamers and me."

Kermit The Muppet Movie

------------------
[68] Posted prior to my re-edit. HA!

Ichigo... I hate rain. It rains in here, too. When you are moody, it becomes cloudy. When you are sad, the rain comes down.

Zangetsu: "Bleach" (2004)

---edit 1 ------------------------------------
aargh waiting for steph's "...." to clear...
---edit 2------------------------------------
And the crowd went wild (roar)
Steph chooses the perfect quote so I dont' have to change mine...
Well done!

edit 3 - edits 1 and 2 posted before steph's "HA" edit

Wash: This is gonna get pretty interesting.
Reynolds: Define "interesting".
Wash"[deadpan] Oh God, oh God, we're all going to die?

Serenity
Reference to all the confusion above :)

"Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into!"

Hardy in Sons of the Desert

That's alright, Laurey baby. You can't forget, just don't try to. Oh, lots of things happen to folks. Sickness or being poor and hungry, being old and a feared to die. That's the way it is, cradle to grave, and you can stand it. There's just one way: you gotta be hardy. You gotta be. You can't deserve the sweet and tender in life unless'n you're tough.

Aunt Eller: Oklahoma! (1999)

"Get busy living, or get busy dying."

Andy Dufresne, Shawshank Redemption

--------------
Thanks lead for the link to the proper spelling, trying to get lines in so fast...nice edit in [71] for the match and set!

Andy Dufresne: You know what the Mexicans say about the Pacific?
Red: No.
Andy Dufresne: They say it has no memory. That's where I want to live the rest of my life. A warm place with no memory.

Shawshank Redemption

-------------
you're welcome!
headed home now - will check back in later to catch up!
(thanks for noticing the match I made - I was pretty proud of it myself!)

Ernest Hemingway once wrote, "The world is a fine place and worth fighting for." I agree with the second part.

Det. Summerset (Morgan Freeman), Seven

"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!"

Dr. Strangelove

"I am a free man, Lickspittle, and there's nothing you can do about it. I am the only free man on this train. The rest of you are cattle!"

Amourski, Doctor Zhivago

"Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM!"

-William Wallace, Braveheart

"That's it Gromit, we'll go where theres CHEEEEEESE!"

Wallace, Wallace and Gromit A Grand Day Out

Drew Carey: Hey, don't waste cheese. If you're going to waste food, throw a vegetable

Drew Carey Show

Lucy: So what should I do?
Jerry: Pull the plug.
Lucy: You're sick.
Jerry: I'm sick? You're cheating on a vegetable.

-While You Were Sleeping

Norman: "I would be happy if Jerry had no emotions whatsoever. Because the thing of it is once you go down that road... here's Jerry, an emotional being cooped up for 300 years with no one to talk to... none of the socialization, the emotional growth that comes from contact with other emotional beings..."
Harry: "So...?"
Norman: "What happens if Jerry gets mad?"

Sphere

Well don't thank Jesus, thank Jerry Lee Lewis.

Jerry Lee: Great Balls of Fire! (1989)

You've really got balls on your mind tonight.

Fareed Zakaria: "The Colbert Report" (2005)

--------------------------
and with that lead-in - i'm gone for a few hours... - again

Brisco County Jr.: Never look too deep into the mind of a lawyer.

Adventures of Brisco County Jr

Dixie Cousins: Brisco, put me down!
Brisco County Jr.: Alright, you look bad in a wig and you were too easy to find.

Adventures of Brisco County Jr.

Honey, you just got real ugly.

Ash, Army of Darkness

U-G-L-Y! You ain't got no alibi! You ugly!

-Wildcats

When an alibi is full of bourbon, sir, it can't stand up.
--Strangers on a Train

This guy is the worst burglar I've ever seen. He's drunk.

Off. Doug Penhall: "21 Jump Street" (1987)

What's he do, nibble your bum?

--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"Put down and piss off!"

Ensemble (In drawers) The Full Monty

George: 15 kilos of cocaine? That's nothing. I piss 15 kilos.

# Blow (2001)

Hey Jenny, don't worry about me. We got coffee and cocaine here. We're gonna get wired and have a big party.

Axel Foley, Beverly Hills Cop

Gloria: Would you like to come up for...coffee?

Andy: I don't drink coffee.

Gloria: I haven't got any.

--Brassed Off

I'll have a half double decaffeinated half-caf, with a twist of lemon.

L.A. Story

"Give me a spoonful of milk, a raw pigeon's egg, and four houseflies. If you can't catch any, I'll settle for a cockroach."

Muggsy, The Lady Eve

"I feel like I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're in that f*@!ed-up bar."

Jay, Dogma

I've been looking forward to this moment for a long time.

----
Greedo, Star Wars, Episode IV (1977)

Darth Vader: If you only knew the power of the Dark Side. Obi-wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke: He told me enough! He told me *you* killed him!

Darth Vader: No. *I* am your father.

Luke: No. No. That's not true. That's impossible!

Darth Vader: Search your feelings, you *know* it to be true!

Luke: [anguished] No! No!

Star Wars, Episode V

Han Solo: Well Princess, it looks like you managed to keep me here a while longer.

Princess Leia: I had nothing to do with it. General Rieekan thinks it's dangerous for anyone to leave the system until
they've activated the energy shield.

Han Solo: That's a good story. I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your sight.

Princess Leia: I don't know where you get your delusions, laser brain.

[Chewbacca laughs]

Han Solo: Laugh it up, fuzzball.

Episode V (again...sorry, couldn't resist)

Danny Butterman: By the power of Greyskull!

Hot Fuzz (2007)

Great idea, Princess! Diving into a pile of garbage! Hey, maybe when we get out of here, you can show us around your home planet of Alderaan. Ohhhhhhhhh, too soon?

Peter as Han Solo, Family Guy: Blue Harvest
Edit: Crap! Re: [100]

Princess Buttercup: We'll never succeed. We may as well die here.

Westley: No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt - no problem. There's a popping sound preceding each; we can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand, which you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.

Princess Buttercup: Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.'s?

Westley: Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist.
[Immediately, an R.O.U.S. attacks him]

The Princess Bride (1987)

Fezzini: Inconceivable!
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

-----
The Princess Bride

Auctioneer: Are there no further bids for this exquisite galaxy? Sold! To the being of inconceivable horror!

Being of Inconceivable Horror: Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Being of Inconceivable Horror: Will a money order be OK?

"Futurama" (1999) {I Dated a Robot (#3.15)}

I work on a cash-only basis.

Hot-dog vendor in Adventures in Babysitting

I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

Wimpy -- Popeye (1980)

I want my two dollars!

Better Off Dead

Alright, I'm gonna pay you your two little dollars, but don't you be expecting no more work from me!

Eula in Ray (2004)

There are too many people taking money from you now. I wouldn't dream of it. I'll be around about this time everyday. If you need anymore help, just call me and I'll come. Goodbye, Uncle Sam. Keep your chin up!

Penny Hale, Just Around the Corner (1938)

Vincent, get in the car, this is embarrassing. You're acting like some girl who got felt up at the drive-in.

Eddie Felson: The Color of Money (1986)

"I think it pisses God off when you walk by the color purple in a field and don't notice it."

Shug
The Color Purple

"Mama, face it. I was the slut of all time."

Liz Taylor as Gloria
ButterFIELD 8

Harpo: Who this, Pa? Who this?
Albert: The woman that shoulda been yo' mammy.

The Color Purple

Shaun: [in concerned tone] Mum, have you been bitten?
Barbara: No, but Philip has.
Shaun: Oh, OK.
Ed: [concerned] Has she been bitten?
Shaun: No, but Phillip has.
Ed: Oh, OK

-Shaun of the Dead
:-)

[Watching a game of Polo in India, 1895] Good shot! Well done, Phillip! He'll do well that boy, if he marries well...

Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond: Carry On... Up the Khyber (1968)

Where you goin'? I know where I'm goin' P Sherman, 42 Wallably Way, Sydney
Where you goin'? I know where I'm goin' P Sherman, 42 Wallably Way, Sydney
Where you goin'? I know where I'm goin' P Sherman, 42 Wallably Way, Sydney

Dory, Finding Nemo

---------------
This thread was only expected to reach the high teens...

Aang: Relax, Sokka. Where we're going you won't need any pants!

---------------

"Avatar: The Last Airbender" (2005) {The Warriors of Kyoshi (#1.4)}

Ophelia: No, I am Inga, from Sveden!
Coleman: Sweden? But you're wearing lederhosen.
Ophelia: Jaa, for sure, from Sveden!

-Trading Places

[the Swedish Chef is the popcorn vender at a movie theater showing a 3D film]

The Swedish Chef: Yaa da poppin' corn is...

[throws popcorn in the air]
The Swedish Chef: 3D! Da corn is popping in your face inna...

[throws popcorn in his own face]
The Swedish Chef: 3-D!

The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984)

And so, to recap [points at diagram of many chefs surrounding a pot] this represents the vat of broth, and these figures represent the broth makers, or cooks, if you will. There's a lot of them, isn't there? And it's this surfeit of cooks that's having such a negative impact on the broth. There's too many cooking staff, and it's ruining to product. You'd think wouldn't you, that having so many cooks would make it better, but no, it's making it worse. So, to put it in simple terms, the ratio of chefs to the amount of food being prepared is proving detremental to the broth.

Broth Chef: "Big Train" (1998)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
[117] this did turn into a really fun thread - good job

Julia Child: So that's all for today on The French Chef. This is Julia Child, bon appetit.

The French Chef

Several weeks ago, our chef, Sister Julia, [genuflecting] Child of God, made some vichy-soy-ze soup and every one of the sisters died instantly of botulism.

Rev. Mother Mary Regina: Nunsense (1993)

Jeremy Hawke: Vlada, there's an old lady's stocking in my soup.

"The Critic" (1995)

Oh, that went out when designers started writin' their names on your behind!

Stringfellow Hawke: "Airwolf" (1984)

So what's a girl to do? He's a guy who followed his pecker to greener pastures. I'm a middle aged, high school drop out with stretch marks and a fat ass.

Paulette, Legally Blonde

Jive Lady: Jive ass dude don't got no brains anyhow! Hmmph!

Airplane! (1980)

Charlie: Mars needs weiner-dog brains!

"All Dogs Go to Heaven" (1996)

And to think that in some countries these dogs are eaten.

Buck Laughlin, Best in Show

Telegraph Lady: To His Majesty, King Jaffe Joffer, The Royal Palace, Zamunda. Sire, Akeem and I have depleted our funds. Kindly send 300, 000 American dollars immediately, as we are in dire straits. Your humble servant, Semmi. [pronounces it "Semi"]
Semmi: Semmi
Telegraph Lady: Semmi
Semmi: Should I make it 400,000?
Telegraph Lady: You think that'd be enough?
Semmi: You are right. 500,000.
Telegraph Lady: As long as you're asking, why not go for a cool million?
Semmi: You do not think that would be too much?
Telegraph Lady: Naah.

-Coming to America

(First I posted what's below, then found [129] had beaten me to it, so I edited to the above, only to find post [131]-- oy! So I'm adding my first quote back, but keeping the second, so as to avoid any further confusion. Sorry 'bout that!) :-)

Prince Akeem: Bark like a dog.
The Queen-to-Be: Arf, arf, arf, arf!
Prince Akeem: A big dog.
The Queen-to-Be: WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!

-Coming to America

Horace: Did you hear that?
Jasper: What?
Horace: That noise.
Jasper: What noise?
Horace: That noise I just heard. Do you hear it?
Jasper: Oh yeah. Sounded like an annoying bug asking me irritating questions. Oh, good, it's stopped now.

-- 101 Dalmations

Merlin: Usually I find the noise of women's screams and shattering glass quite restful, but today for some reason it takes me adversely.

"The Adventures of Sir Lancelot" (1956)

Sir Lancelot: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
Sir Galahad: I don't think I was.
Sir Lancelot: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Sir Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Sir Lancelot: No, it's too perilous.
Sir Galahad: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
Sir Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on.
Sir Galahad: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Sir Lancelot: No. It's unhealthy.
Sir Galahad: I bet you're gay.
Sir Lancelot: Am not.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Bridgekeeper: Hee hee heh. Stop. What... is your name?
King Arthur: It is 'Arthur', King of the Britons.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
King Arthur: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
King Arthur: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
Bridgekeeper: Huh? I... I don't know that.
Bridgekeeper: Auuuuuuuugh. (thrown over the bridge)

Monty Python and the Holy Grail
---------------------------------------------

That question regarding the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow is included in every Scout's Board of Review with our Troop.

King Arthur: Yes, yes, Merlin, but the question is - have you seen a sea monster?

------------
"The Adventures of Sir Lancelot" (1956)

"Listen to me, mister. You're my knight in shining armor. Don't you forget it. You're going to get back on that horse, and I'm going to be right behind you, holding on tight, and away we're gonna go, go, go!"

Ethel Thayer
On Golden Pond

Woody: I really enjoyed Jay being in New York. We hung out and got to play games. We played "horse"... I was the front end and Jay played himself.

----------
"Around the Horn" (2002)

Mitch: Rollin', rollin', rollin', keep them dogies rollin', man my ass is swollen, Rawhide! Get 'em up, move 'em out, wake 'em up, get 'em dressed, get 'em shaved, comb their hair, Rawhide! Tie me down, tell me lies, pull my hair, smack my thighs - with a big wet strap of, Rawhide!

City Slickers

Mitch: Hi Curly. Killed anyone today?
Curly: The day ain't over yet...

City Slickers

Woo woo woo!

Martin Riggs, Lethal Weapon

You know, I was born in this city, Howard. In our block, we had guys from practically every race and religion you ever hear of... and a couple you didn't. But we got along pretty well.

Charles Riggs: Jigsaw (1949)

You got it ace, let's race!

Sonic: The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog(1993)

Maverick: I feel the need...
Maverick, Goose: ...the need for speed!

Top Gun

Never cry over spilt milk. It could've been whiskey.

Bret Maverick: "Maverick" (1957)

Jimmy Dugan - "There's no crying in baseball!"

A League of Their Own

It's cold enough to freeze your Winnebago

-The Muppet Christmas Special

I don't care if the turkey says the chicken is a turkey, the turkey is the turkey. You turkey.

The old guy to the Swedish Chef

-The Muppet Christmas Special

[Momma sees Larry for the first time]
Momma: Who the hell is this?
Owen: Oh, this is Cousin Paddy. He's coming to stay with us a while. Isn't that nice?
Momma: [suspiciously] We don't *have* a "Cousin Paddy".
Owen: [to Larry] You LIED to me!
[Owen knocks Larry out with a frying pan to the head]

-Throw Momma From the Train

[waking up after sharing the same bed on the motel]
Neal: Del... Why did you kiss my ear?
Del: Why are you holding my hand?
Neal: [frowns] Where's your other hand?
Del: Between two pillows...
Neal: Those aren't pillows!

-Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

Kaffee: I'm going to talk to the prosecutor. I'm going to get you a deal some kind of immunity and in about 4 days you're going to appear as a witness for the defense and you're going to tell the court exactly what you just told me. In the meantime I'm going to get you into a motel room and we're going to start from the beginning.

-- A Few Good Men

We agreed to get married as soon as you won your first case. Meanwhile, TEN YEARS LATER, my niece, the daughter of my sister is getting married. My biological clock is
[stamps her foot rhythmically] TICKING LIKE THIS and the way this case is going, I ain't never getting married!

-Lisa, My Cousin Vinny

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

Ford Prefect, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

So long and thanks for all the fish
So sad that it should come to this
We tried to warn you all but oh dear?

You may not share our intellect
Which might explain your disrespect
For all the natural wonders that
grow around you

So long, so long and thanks
for all the fish

The world's about to be destroyed
There's no point getting all annoyed
Lie back and let the planet dissolve

Despite those nets of tuna fleets
We thought that most of you were sweet
Especially tiny tots and your
pregnant women

So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
So long, so long, so long, so long, so long

So long, so long and thanks
for all the fish

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

There's a sad sort of clanging
From the clock in the hall
And the bells in the steeple too,
And up in the nurs'ry an absurd little bird
Is popping out to say "coo-coo" (coo-coo, coo-coo)

Regretfully they tell us,
But firmly they compel us
To say good-bye to you.

So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehen, good night,
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight.

So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehen, adieu,
Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu.

So long, farewell, Au'voir, auf wiedersehen,
I'd like to stay and taste my first champagne
-- Yes? -- No

So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehen, goodbye,
I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye,
Good bye

I'm glad to go,
I cannot tell a lie.
I flit, I float,
I fleetly flee, I fly.

The sun has gone to bed and so must I
So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye,
Goodbye,
Goodbye,
Goodbye!

Von Trapp Children -- The Sound of Music

Nick: If music be the food of love, then this must be a vomit sandwich.

-------------

"Beast" (2000)

Nurse: Special offer, we installed a vomit-o-matic at the same time. Now that turbines have been installed in the lining of your throat, in the event of sickness, they freeze the waste.

-----------

"Doctor Who" (2005)

Dr. Richard H. Thorndyke: As I was saying, it came to my attention that just before Dr. Ashley's untimely death, he was planning to make some very big changes here at the institute. Do any of you know specifically what those changes might be?
Dr. Wentworth: Well, for one thing, he wanted to change...
Nurse Diesel: The drapes.
Dr. Richard H. Thorndyke: The drapes?
Nurse Diesel: The drapes. He wanted to change the drapes in the Psychotic Game Room.
Dr. Richard H. Thorndyke: That was the extent of the big change, the... drapes?
Nurse Diesel: Oh, yes. Dr. Ashley felt that color has a great deal to do with the well-being of the emotionally disturbed.

--------------------------------------------

High Anxiety (1977)

"Dr. Marvin, I'm SAILING!"

-Bob, What About Bob

"Bob? Bob? I know no Bob..."

Larry, countertop intro to Dave and the Giant Pickle

To the President: "If I ran my business like this I'd be out of business."

Charles Grodin, Dave

President Andrew Shepherd: Is the view pretty good from the cheap seats, A.J.?
A.J.: I beg your pardon?
President Andrew Shepherd: Because it occurs to me that in twenty five years I've never seen YOUR name on a ballot. Now why is that? Why are you always one step behind ME?
A.J.: Because if I wasn't, you'd be the most popular history teacher at the University of Wisconsin!
President Andrew Shepherd: $%(* *#@!!

The American President

Well, according to the test, you are a seven-year-old German shepherd.

Lewis McCartney: "H2O: Just Add Water" (2006)

Rebecca: Yeah? I had a dream that I gave you a German Shepherd.

-- Trust the Man

Peter Gibbons: It's not just about me and my dream of doing nothing. It's about all of us. I don't know what happened to me at that hypnotherapist and, I don't know, maybe it was just shock and it's wearing off now, but when I saw that fat man keel over and die - Michael, we don't have a lot of time on this earth! We weren't meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements.

Michael Bolton: I told those fudge-packers I liked Michael Bolton's music.

Peter Gibbons: Oh. That is not right, Michael.

-Office Space

Well, the good news is that Zabar is going to hypnotize Daniel.

Alex Stone: "Hope Island" (1999)

Elmer Fudd: At wast! At wast, at wast, at wast! I got him wight where I want him! [starts to hypnotize Bugs] Gaze deepwy into my eyes.

The Hare Brained Hypnotist

[ALF is trying to hypnotize Lucky]
You are getting sleepy. You... are no longer a cat. You are a bagel.

ALF: "ALF" (1986)

Ralph: I'm half Italian-half Jewish. Which, I guess makes me a pizza-bagel.

-- Giving it Up

Anyway, a few days ago I went out and bought a book all about existentialism.

Ralph: "Dear John" (1986)

Johnny Smith: What are you, the Vince Lombardi of existentialism, man?

The Dead Zone

Football happened to me. I got pummeled, slugged, and I'm pretty sure someone bit my ankle.

Josh Nichols: "Drake & Josh" (2004)

Tony D'Amato: On any given Sunday you're gonna win or you're gonna lose. The point is - can you win or lose like a man?

Any Given Sunday

A man is like a wild animal that lives on instinct!

Luna: "Bishôjo senshi Sailor Moon Sailor Stars" (1996)

Hello, sailor, buy me a drink?

El Sleezo Patron: Muppet Movie, The (1979)

"A martini. Shaken, not stirred."

James Bond, Goldfinger

I'd just like you to stir-fry a few ideas in my think-wok.

Gus Hedges: "Drop the Dead Donkey" (1990)

"As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again."

Scarlett, Gone With the Wind

Yes. I've also had scarlet fever and the measles. Ask me which one I liked best.

Julia: "Santa Barbara" (1984)

Tony Manero: Would ya just watch the hair. Ya know, I work on my hair a long time and you hit it. He hits my hair.

Saturday Night Fever

Inignot: Aqua Teens! Come out and face your doom, for we are Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday...

"Aqua Teen Hunger Force" (2000)

I wish, for just one day, Dad couldn't tell a lie.

-Max, Liar Liar

Is that a challenge, Max?

Trace Miller: "Crusade" (1999)

"Go ahead, make my day."

Harry Callahan, Sudden Impact

Just what do you have in mind?

Harry Callahan: Dead Pool, The (1988)

"Toga! Toga!"

John "Bluto" Blutarsky, Animal House
(I can barely rationalize/justify the connection b/c Belushi is dead)

Well he better be wearing a bullet-proof toga

Wolfie: "Citizen Smith" (1977)

Professor Keenbean: Acid-proof, fire-proof, shock-proof, and, of course, bullet-proof. Of course, it's not perfected yet, and it's hell on the dry-cleaning bill.

Ri¢hie Ri¢h

Dry cleaning. Was I crazy to be thinking about it?

Ed Crane: The Man Who Wasn't There (2001)

Elizabeth Masterson: We have an address, a dry cleaning ticket and a book of matches. Do you know what that means?

Just Like Heaven

Oh my, this is more serious than I thought

Elizabeth Masterson: Just Like Heaven (2005)

Ray Luca: Pauli, take a book of matches and go look and see if there is any gas left in the tank, okay?

"Crime Story" (1986)

Egads! What sorcery is this? There was enough paralyzing gas in that cork to keep ordinary men unconscious for hours!

Joker: "Batman"

Master Shake: Ohhhh, God Almighty! I said, "I know, the house smells awful!"

"Aqua Teen Hunger Force"

Hey! This sock smells like feet! My heat's filled with toe germs! I could get sick! What is I get athlete's nose! That could lead to nasal rot!

Spot: "101 Dalmatians" (1997)

An ordinary person spends his life avoiding tense situations. A repoman spends his life getting into tense situations.

Bud: Repo Man

Tense? Oh, I'm - I'm way, way past tense

Snowbell: Stuart Little (1999)

I know you are, but what am I?

Pee Wee Herman
Pee Wee's Big Adventure

Passion Purple, Are you Crazy?

Lester: "227" (1985)

Me? No. Come on. Don't be crazy. I know the wrestlers get all the fancy ladies, and the clothes, and the fancy creams and lotions. But my life is good! Really good! I get to wake up every morning, at 5AM, and make some soup! It's the best. I love it. I get to lay in a bed, all by myself, all of my life! That's fantastic! Go. Go away! Read some books!

Nacho, Nacho libre

Like, like what am I supposed to do - take one book, or all books, or what?

Ash: Army of Darkness (1992)

What do you want me to do? Dress in drag and do the hula?

Timon, The Lion King

With the right advertising, this thing could be bigger than Hula-Hoops.

Patrick Martin: Little Shop of Horrors (1986)

Brooks: Shook his hand! I near soiled myself, I mean all Andy needed was a suit and a tie and a little jiggly hula gal on his desk and he woulda been *Mister* Dufresne, if you please.

The Shawshank Redemption

I must admit I didn't think much of Andy first time I laid eyes on him; looked like a stiff breeze would blow him over. That was my first impression of the man.

Red, Shawshank Redemption

Spike: Oh, listen to Mary Poppins. He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that nancy boy accent. You Englishmen are always so... bloody hell.

-------------

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Mary Poppins: Close your mouth please, Michael, we are not a codfish.

-- Mary Poppins

Wayne and Garth: [to Alice Cooper] We're not worthy! We're not worthy!
Garth: We're scum!
Wayne: We suck!

-Wayne's World

And how did you come to that well-thought-out conclusion?

Bruce Wayne: "The New Batman Adventures" (1997)

Michael: You think that the pet rock was a really great idea?
Tom: Sure it was. The guy made a million dollars. You know, I had an idea like that once. A long time ago.
Peter: Really? What was it, Tom?
Tom: Well, all right. It was a "Jump to Conclusions" mat. You see, it would be this mat that you would put on the floor, and it would have different conclusions written on it that you could jump to.
Michael: That's the worst idea I've ever heard in my life, Tom.
Samir: Yes, this is horrible, this idea.

Office Space (1999)

Down where I come from we don't jump to conclusions. It's liable to be a feller's last jump.

Dusty Rivers: North West Mounted Police (1940)

I, uh, jump out of the circle, then I jump back in it. And then I, um, I shake my gourd.

Giles: "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (1997)

"Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make."

Count Dracula
Dracula (1931)

Gomez: Children, why do you hate the baby?
Pugsley: We don't hate him. We just wanna play with him.
Wednesday: Especially his head.

Addams Family Values (1993)

Prissy: I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' babies.

Gone With The Wind

As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again.

Scarlett O'Hara
GWTW

Johnny Castle: "Nobody puts Baby in a corner."

Dirty Dancing

oops - posted same time as [215]

to continue where [215] left off . . .

"Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."

Forrest Gump

Jeff Bailey: "You know, maybe I was wrong and luck is like love. You have to go all the way to find it."

Out of the Past

George Eastman: I love you. I've loved you since the first moment I saw you. I guess maybe I've even loved you before I saw you.

A Place in the Sun

Jennifer: "Love means never having to say you're sorry."

Love Story

I love that you get cold when it is 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

Harry, When Harry Met Sally, 1989

Itzak Stern: The list is an absolute good. The list is life.

Schindler's List

Oberst Von Scherbach: Nobody has ever escaped from Stalag 17. Not alive, anyway.

Stalag 17

Captain von Trapp: My fellow Austrians, I shall not be seeing you again perhaps for a very long time. I would like to sing for you now... a love song. I know you share this love. I pray that you will never let it die.

Sound of Music

SGT Schultz: "I know NUHSINk! NUHSINK!"

Hogan's Heroes
(Stalag 13)

"And Master, sir, do not forget to specify, when time and place shall assert, that I am an ass."

Dogberry, Much Ado About Nothing, 1993

What is it with you people? What kind of twisted upbringing did you have? You know, why can't you just say; 'Oh, that'll be 100 gold coins.' Why does it always have to be, 'No! Not unless you lay a magic egg, or count the hairs on that giant's ass!'

Tony: "the 10th Kingdom, The" (2000)

Riley Poole: Why can't they just say 'Go to this place and here's the treasure. Spend it wisely.'?

National Treasure

Gold Hat: Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges! I don't have to show you any stinkin' badges!

Treasure of the Sierra Madre

Mexican Bandit: Badges? We don't need no stinking badges.

Blazing Saddles

And why not? It worked in Blazing Saddles.

Ahchoo: Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

No, they will not be- they *cannot* be!... Because we should be together! I should never have left you. I should never have gone to war- it was a mistake! You were right. We wanted glory. But believe me, the battlefield is the *last* place you will find it.

Robin Hood: "Robin Hood" (2006)

Grebs: You wouldn't understand unless you've been there. You can be your own ant there. No one telling you what to do. No wars. No colony. I never should have left.

Antz

I thought you said the prison colony would be here.

Tyr Anasazi: "Andromeda" (2000)

Sonny: Attica! Attica!!

Dog Day Afternoon

Learning, studying, working like a dog... and what did it get me? The first chance I have to be somebody, I'm beaten out of it by an ignorant cowhand who can't even write his own name! Well, I can write mine... and I'm going to write it across the territory in letters of fire and blood if I have to! I'm going to be somebody in this country! Somebody big!

William Cantrell: Dark Command (1940)

You don't understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it. It was you, Charley.

Terry: On the Waterfront (1954)

[237] - sorry!
[238] sorry too!

[236] you just beat me to it!

Rocky Balboa: Adrian!!

Rocky

---------------------------------------------------------------
[237] Me too!

Adrian Cronauer: Good Morning, Vietnam!

Adrian Cronauer: Goooooooood morning, Vietnam! Hey, this is not a test! This is rock and roll! Time to rock it from the Delta to the D.M.Z.!

-- Good Morning Vietnam

No! Ha ha ha ha! They're keeping it on the DMZ, got to go ASAP, strictly BYOB. Bye

Flik: A Bug's Life (1998)

Kilgore: I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

Apocalypse Now

What, you miss the smell of napalm in the morning?

Frank Bruce: McBain (1991)

Would've been better with ninjas.

Cassie McBain: "She Spies" (2002)

Willard: [voiceover] Saigon... shit; I'm still only in Saigon...

Apocalypse Now

oops - too slow - I'll try to catch up ;-)

"There's no place like home."

Dorothy, Wizard of Oz

Butch cassidy: Kid, the next time I say, 'Let's go someplace like Bolivia,' let's go someplace like Bolivia.

Bolivia. They were in Bolivia. Wait a minute, they were killed in Bolivia

Abner: Ernest Rides Again (1993)

Dr. Christian Szell "Is it safe?"

-- Marathon Man

Now, according to my calculations... the only truly statistically safe ride at the fair is... the turnstile.

Spot: 101 Dalmatians(1997)